Just a quick update: mancub has written a tutorial for setting up XMLRPC in lighttpd and using that with rTorrent and a GUI of your choice:
http://www.wl500g.info/showthread.php?t=12110
There are several GUI's, google for "rtorrent gui" or see the wikipedia page. I use rtGui on my desktop machine, I've set it to connect to lighttpd on the router over LAN. It allows you to add torrent files too! But you'll need a webserver on your desktop too for rtGui (I run Linux on the desktop as well so it wasn't much of a problem). I have no idea how well rtGui runs on a webserver installed on Windows.
So, now I have rtorrent with XMLRPC connected to lighttpd, both on the router, and the GUI on the desktop, which makes sense, because usually these clients are based on PHP or other stuff that is too heavy for the router.
The only problem left for me now is to figure out how to obtain a simple lightweight command line xmlrpc client. The xmlrpc-c package apparently has only the library. The purpose is to be able to query rtorrent for total bytes transferred up/down from a shell script and input that data into RRDTool. I already got graphs going that show total bytes transferred in/out of the route, it would be very interesting to be able to see how much of that is P2P.

